alatariel14

I'm listening to the rain pour outside and feeling thankful that tomorrow is Friday. Emily just came in the living room and informed me that she saw the middle part of the lightning bolt that just streaked across the sky. She went on to inform me that the reason she could see the middle of the lightning bolt is because of the carrots she ate...and the Cheetos. Because Cheetos are like carrots and help you see better.

On a totally unrelated note, I just stuck my foot in something cold and wet and remembered that I forgot to clean where Ava knocked over a vase full of flowers. I suppose that's what I'm looking forward to most this weekend...cleaning. Life has been very chaotic lately, and I feel like our house is a direct reflection of that.

Tonight David had his Crossover Ceremony for Boy Scouts. Before transitioning from Wolf to Bear, David was presented with the Leave No Trace Awareness Award and the Promise Award. David was nominated for the Promise Award because he strives to live according to the Cub Scout Promise:

I ________ promise to do my best
To do my duty to God and my country,
To help other people, and
To obey the Law of the Pack.

David's den leader was impressed by his growth this year and his willingness to help others in and around the community. It was completely unexpected, and I was quite proud of my boy. Scouts has come to mean so much to David, and it was nice to see his enthusiasm rewarded.

Emily completed her last day of Pre-K this week. She finished up with a "graduation" ceremony that was comprised of performances by the different Pre-K classes. It's just one of the many bittersweet moments that will dot the rest of my life. It has been great watching Em grow in confidence, knowledge, and maturity. I feel like she's more than ready for Kindergarten, and I think David is excited about the prospect of showing his sister the ropes.

In addition to knocking over vases and making general messes throughout the house, Ava is growing in her own way. She's slowly beginning to test the limits and more readily uses phrases like, "hold on a minute", "I don't want to", and "no." I think the next year will be a really big year for Ava. The most amusing moment of the week centered around Ava and happened as follows:

I was running bath water for the girls (who still bathe together for now) when Ava started yelling, "No, Emily! Don't pee in the water!" I looked down at Emily (who looked innocent enough) and couldn't tell that Emily had done anything in the water. She denied it when asked, but then Emily denies anything she thinks will get her into trouble these days. I let some of the water drain just in case, so the back part of the tub was still dry. As the water slowly made its way to the back of the tub, Ava crept backwards until she was pressed against the far wall. She shuffled her feet in panic mode and yelled, "The pee's gonna get me! The pee's gonna get me!" It was impossible for me to properly address my child's fear because I was doubled over with laughter. I hope my little one outgrows a lot of her nervousness, but sometimes it makes for a good laugh.

When I travel down Concord Road, headed towards Oak Grove Circle, there’s a brief stretch of road
that hasn’t been claimed by houses or cows. The road dips slightly and trees arch over the road in a
way that makes it seem separate from everything else. A creek runs through a field near the area, and
in the curves leading up to the creek, I have stumbled across a variety of wildlife. You never know what
might be around one of the bends, and the blackberry winter we’re having must have the animals
stirring. Yesterday I spotted a coyote loping across the field and today I rounded the corner to find three
does standing in the middle of the road. They turned and bounded back into the woods on my left, the
back one almost slipping in its haste. The same area has afforded me glimpses at an infinite number of
rabbits, a red fox, and even an owl.

The rabbits are prey to foxes, coyotes, and owls, but my neighbor’s garden is in the sights of multiple
neighborhood rabbits. I looked our back window around 10:00 last Friday night and could just make out
the silhouettes of three rabbits on the field above our house. They sat in a neatly spaced row, facing my
neighbor’s garden. It was as if they were staring longingly, puzzling over how to get past the net worked
over the tantalizing greens.

I enjoy seeing the animals, but I wish more of them would present themselves in a way that does not
involve jumping in front of my car. We’ll see if any wildlife awaits me tomorrow morning.

Anyone who knows Ava knows that she LOVES bananas, and most people who know Ava know that she HATES bugs. Tonight I was walking through the kitchen and heard Emily exclaim, “Oh no! An ant on the bananas!” I waited expectantly for Ava’s echoing cry of dismay, but to my surprise, she calmly replied, “I eat it, anyway.” My youngest child has no idea how much light and laughter she unintentionally brings to my world. She still likes to steal my lap in the evenings, and when I lay my cheek against her fuzzy little head, everything disappears…if only for a moment.

A couple weeks ago, I was weeding in the yard while Ava and Emily were slowly piling tiny purple flowers on the brick wall of the carport. Ava stopped short when she noticed a pitifully crushed bloom and earnestly questioned, “Mom, can you make it grow again?” I thought of the scene from “It’s a Wonderful Life” where Zhu Zhu asks her father to paste the rose petals back onto her broken flower. As I stared at Ava’s petals, I realized that my little one still thinks I’m capable of moving mountains. Maybe it’s because she’s the youngest, or maybe she’s just more inclined to hold onto dreams, but I won’t question it too much. I’ll bask in every little moment…all the cuddles, all the questions, all the impulsive hugs. It’s wonderful to have someone’s unwavering trust…no matter how small that someone may be.

Don’t ask me – I’m booked!

Saturday, February 18th – David’s Pinewood Derby at the Georgia Racing Hall of Fame.
Monday, February 20th – Off work – lunch with Jessica D
Saturday. February 25th – Pack 811 Blue and Gold Banquet (set up and decoration will take place the night before)
Saturday, March 3rd – Birthday luncheon at the Cheesecake Factory for five-year-old Emily Claire McGowan
Saturday, March 10th – Pinkalicious with Emily, Ava, and Kristin
Sunday, March 18th – BoyScout Sunday at Concord Baptist
Friday, March 23rd-25th – Trip to Guyton
April 2nd-6th – Spring Break week (off work Wednesday-Friday)
Saturday, April 7th – Baby shower for Meghan
Saturday, April 14th OR Saturday, April 21st – Tentative trip to Renaissance Festival

I generally feel like I work best under pressure, but that notion took a severe blow this past weekend. Johnathan was out of town with some old college friends, so the kids and I spent Friday and Saturday night at my Mom’s house. Sunday morning was the usual hustle and bustle before church, and while David and Emily were attending Sunday school, I slipped home to get a head-start on laundry. Depressingly, there was only enough detergent left to do one load of laundry. I printed pictures for David’s den meeting, grabbed his pack shirt, and then scurried back to church for the regular service. After church, the kids and I made our way to Alpharetta to have lunch with Jeanette and Philip. We made it back to Cumming just in time for David’s 3:00 meeting. Johnathan joined us there, and the whole family trooped back home around 4:30. We had just over an hour of relaxation time before the Sunday night church service. Dinner was cooked after we got home from church, and I ushered the kids to bed with a small sense of accomplishment. Imagine my horror when I opened Emily’s school folder Monday morning and realized that I had completely forgotten to have David and Emily decorate their Valentine’s shoe boxes. I wearily informed Johnathan that I would make a terrible single parent. Fortunately, the boxes don’t have to be in until tomorrow, but it means that our entire evening will be a frenzy of Valentine’s madness…especially since I also have to bake cupcakes for my office. I suppose I should get used to it – my life promises to be madness for another month and a half…minimum.

It's the headache that won't quit. I'm too drained to post a proper update, so I think I'll just prop up with my Kindle and a hot cup of tea. I'm re-reading Little Women and thoroughly enjoying it. Reminds me so much of my childhood with Hannah and Nathaniel. Wild, imaginative theatricals, impromptu radio shows, and imagination beyond compare.

I am using headphones to drown out the combined sounds of my husband crunching caramel popcorn and my daughter wailing in her bedroom. Johnathan is mindlessly crunching while playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, and Emily is mindlessly wailing because she's still suffering the after effects of New Year's Eve. We opted to let all three kids stay up until midnight, but Ava fell asleep about ten minutes before 2012 made its debut. David and Emily gleefully watched fireworks and didn't get into bed until around 12:30 a.m. So now Emily is overly tired, and instead of surrendering to the sleep she so desperately needs, she would rather scream my name over and over and over again. I feel cold and heartless for ignoring the plaintive cries of my middle child, but at the same time, one can only rehash the same argument so many times. She begged me to sleep in her bed with her, and when I explained that her bed wasn't big enough, she drowsily whimpered, "But we can put a pillow between us so that we don't touch each other." Rationalization is useless at this point. She just has to get it out of her system, and then all will (hopefully) be better in the morning.

Morning. I dread tomorrow morning. Today's holiday is the last scheduled holiday on the calendar until Memorial Day. I have four floating holidays to use when needed, but it's still a very daunting gap when viewed on paper.

(Pause... To be continued...)

I am now finishing my thoughts while sitting in Emily's room. In some ways, she's still the little baby that wouldn't go to sleep without being in someone's arms. David has always slept well on his own, and Ava jumps willingly into bed more often than not, but Emily is the odd man out. She tolerates sleeping alone because she has little choice in the matter, but some nights are harder than others. Tonight was one of the impossible nights. Emily finally accepted that I was not going to sleep with her, but then requested that I sit with her until she fell sleep. She conked out less than five minutes after I agreed to sit on the end of her bed. Ava slept peacefully through the commotion, her blanket pulled up under her chin and her arm wrapped snugly around her baby. The winds are gusting at 3o miles per hour outside, and the wind chill tonight will be in the single digits. I'm thankful for sturdy walls and a warm place to call home. The only sounds now are the steady roar of the furnace and the sleepy breathing of my two littlest ones...a gentle reminder that I should also be making my way to bed.

It has been a crazy week.

While saying prayers Monday night:
David: Dear Lord, please don't let it storm like with Noah. You know...rained forty days and forty nights...yeah, Noah.
Emily: Noah's up in the sky, and Noah's in my class at school, and that's Noah Brown. Please Lord let Noah have a good birthday because it's almost his birthday.

After dinner on Thursday night:
David: Hey dad, I know Star Wars: The Old Republic comes out on your birthday.
Johnathan: I know, David, but I decided that I'm not going to get that game after all.
David: Why not?
Johnathan: Because I decided I don't have time to play it. I've got other stuff I'd like to do instead.
David: Like Boy Scouts?
Johnathan: Yep!
David: You know dad... when I grow up...
(pause for about 10 seconds)
David: ...I really want to play that game.
To think Johnathan and I expected something heart warming like, "I want to do Scouts with my son, too." Sigh.

While Johnathan and David were gone to their Pack Meeting:
Me: Ava, you stink
Ava: You can shange me, Mom. Daddy can't shange me. He not here.

When Emily and I were on the way home from her dance lesson:
"Mom, I love you. You know why? Because you're so pretty. And when I hug you that means I love you. And on days I don't hug you, that's when I don't love you."


And the crowning moment was when Ava tipped Johnathan's desk chair backwards and went face first into my electric guitar. The plastic had come off the end of the switch on the guitar, and the metal end went right into the middle of her forehead. Blood was everywhere. I cried while she cried, but stayed relatively calm while I was washing her face off. She's currently with her Daddy at Children's Healthcare at The Avenue and is getting a couple stitches. According to Johnathan's reports, she's being a model patient and is happily playing with toys in the waiting room. Poor little angel baby.

Barring Ava's incident, we've had a pretty good weekend so far. Yesterday was Emily's Thanksgiving luncheon. All the parents brought food to the feast and the kids dressed in their homemade Native American costumes (Emily's chosen name was Soaring Bird). From there we went to David's school for a class play about the Cherokee Indians in North Georgia. Last night, Johnathan and I watched Scary Movie and Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog and munched on Boy Scout popcorn. Today has been a lazy day. We had a late breakfast of scrambled eggs, monkey bread (dubbed "cinna bickets" by Ava), and pepperoni. David and Emily are currently practicing tying shoes. David had multiple unsuccessful attempts and was ready to give up completely. I gave him a little pep talk and went over the steps for the tenth time. I then looked at Emily and said, "Do you want to learn, too?" She eagerly hopped up beside me, took the shoe out of my lap, and tied it perfectly on her first attempt. David is a bit more motivated to learn now that his little sister has one-upped him.

Tomorrow my children are leaving for Thanksgiving week at Grandma's house. It will be strangely quiet to spend three days without them.

When I was in high school, the month of October was devoted to marching band competitions, and I still crave the great outdoors whenever the first wave of cool weather hits. The fall air makes me feel restless. Perhaps my restlessness is just a primitive urge to get my house in order before winter, or perhaps it’s a frantic attempt to make the most of things before another year slips away for good.

Out fall festivities began in earnest on the 7th of October. When Emily’s Pre-K announced a field trip to Hillcrest Orchards in Ellijay, I was more than willing to tag along. Nothing welcomes fall quite as well as crisp juicy apples from straight off the tree. There was a bit of a chill in the air that Friday morning, but the sunlight through the trees was warm and golden. Emily chattered excitedly in the backseat, and as I gazed at the slightly changing leaves framing the road, I knew that we were both going to have a great day. Emily milked a cow, rode in the back of a covered wagon, and sampled fresh cider. She then visited the orchard’s petting zoo and playground and watched her very first pig race. When Em and I got home, Johnathan had the car packed for our monthly trip to Guyton. We checked David out of school slightly early and made it to coastal Georgia in time for dinner. The next day revolved around Grandma’s second annual Fall Festival. The kids searched for hidden pumpkins, took a hayride in the back of Great Grandpa’s truck, and then had their faces painted by Aunt Meghan.

On the following Saturday, we met my Dad and Natalie at the county fair. The moment we arrived, Emily spotted the swings. As they went up in the air and began gliding in a smooth circle, she gazed in awe and then declared, “I want to do that. By myself.” I rather reluctantly I handed over her ticket, buckled her in, and bowed to my four year old’s need for independence. Meanwhile, Johnathan had coerced a rather petrified David into getting on the ride. As his eyes started welling up with frightened tears, Natalie handed over a ticket and took a seat in the swing beside David. The presence of a trusted adult seemed to reassure him, and he immediately brightened. I stepped around to see if Emily was regretting her decision and instead found her swinging her feet and smiling unconcernedly. As the ride began and the swings ascended, David whooped with delight, but kept a death grip on the safety bar in front of him. Emily’s face was rapt, and I watched her expression with a mingled sense of wonder and fear. Just how high will my daredevil child want to fly?

On Tuesday, October 18th, we attended David’s second grade Parent/Teacher Conference. I always walk into conferences with a great deal of trepidation. I hate going into the unknown, and no matter how unlikely it is, I always fear being blindsided with something negative. As it turns out, Ms. Johnson put more emphasis on what David is doing well rather than dwelling on what he needs to improve, and I left the conference feeling encouraged. David still struggles with completing his class work, but he has scored either “above average” or “well above average” on all of his tests so far this year. Ms. Johnson indicated that David needs to work on his interpersonal skills, but stressed that he has made improvements since the beginning of the year. She called David her “little wanderer” and described him roaming around the classroom and examining various objects. She said that he often completes a full circle around the classroom before coming back to his desk and finishing his work. As long as his work gets finished and he’s not distracting other students, she doesn’t mind him wandering and “getting it out of his system.” I felt like she was saying, “Yeah, he does a few quirky things, but hey…this kid is also doing some really great things. Look at these test scores!”

On Wednesday the 19th, we attended Concord Church’s annual Fall Festival. The night was cold, so I was relieved to see that the inflatables were blown up inside the family life center. The kids jumped around, played games, ate hot dogs, and did trunk-or-treat in the parking lot.

Johnathan chose that same week to rearrange the entire house around an entertainment center. I was wholly opposed to adding furniture to our already cramped dwelling space, but my husband just couldn’t pass up the deal that he discovered at a local thrift store: an entertainment center and two matching bookshelves for $55.00. To his credit, the center and shelves are black, so they match the décor in my living room, and they’re also solid wood instead of just being cheap particle board. Not to his credit is that he bought everything while I was at work and then had to make it all fit before I could complain that we didn’t have the space. Given that Johnathan started his project three days before my in-laws were arriving for the weekend, I was surprisingly calm and resigned. I took two days off work and feverishly rearranged, organized, and purged the house. We moved numerous boxes labeled “yard sale” to my Mom’s basement and tried to make better sense of what we were left with. In the end, I was satisfied with what we accomplished and even forgave Johnathan for blatantly ignoring me…yet again. I’m noticing a trend in our marriage. I say, “No, no, no, no…don’t mess up my house,” and then hubby inevitably messes it up anyway.

My in-laws arrived on Friday, October 21st, and we spent a lazy weekend at the house. Alaina and I did some window shopping on Saturday morning, and the rest of our time was spent lounging. Johnathan and I helped with the Pre-K Sunday school class on the 23rd, and on Sunday the 30th, we got to teach the class by ourselves. That Sunday was Reformation Sunday, and the church held an Oktoberfest after the 11:00 service. Lunch consisted of brats, sauerkraut, German potato salad, and macaroni and cheese. After lunch, the kids got their faces painted and watched a magic show. The month ended with trick-or-treating, and the kids acquired enough candy to last them until next Halloween. David dressed as Spiderman, Emily dressed as Princess Jasmine (in a non-revealing belly dancer costume), and Ava dressed as Alice in Wonderland.

On Saturday November 5th, we held a yard sale at my Mom’s house. Jeanette sold a good deal of seasonal décor, and I managed to sell a decent amount of kid’s clothes. Johnathan and I told the kids that they could keep the profits from any toys that sold, and they wound up making almost as much as we did. David’s cub mobile District Race is this Saturday, Emily has a makeup dance lesson, and Ava is sick with a cold, so the upcoming weekend promises to be as busy as every weekend prior.

Tonight I’m attending a ladies banquet where the guest speaker is one of my Mom’s high school friends. The theme is “Celebrating Our Lives as Women of God.” I fully intend to have an enjoyable evening and look forward to crashing when I get home later tonight. The only downer is that I have to wake up way too early tomorrow morning. What happened to sleeping in on Saturday mornings!? C’est la vie.

I had to drive to work today, so Johnathan and I drove separate cars home from my grandparent’s house. I let him take my car so that he could have a few minutes without the clamor of children’s voices. As soon as I hopped into the Vue, the kids were pressing me to race Daddy home. I insisted that there was no way we could beat him home since he was already well ahead of us. They kept trying to puzzle out ways to win and David finally suggested, “If Daddy stops for coffee, then we’ll beat him home.”

I shook my head. “Noooo, I don’t think he’s stopping for coffee tonight.”

David refused to be put off and insisted, “He might. If he did, we‘d beat him. I think he‘ll stop. I can sense it. Yeah. I can sense it.”

Then Emily chimed in. “Yeah. I can sense it, too. I can sense it because I have a very good sense of smell.”

David looked at her scornfully and said, “No, Emily. You use the force to sense things.”

By this point I could barely contain myself, so I called Johnathan to tell him about the conversation happening in the back of the car. He laughed and when we got to the intersection at Coal Mountain, I saw him turn right onto 369. David saw it too and immediately started crowing his delight. Daddy was going for coffee.

I stared at the disappearing tail lights and exclaimed, “Look what you did!”

David smiled and happily muttered, “Yeah. Jedi mind trick…”

A few days ago I got an email from David’s teacher telling me that since the day he had to call me at work, he has made much better decisions in the classroom. When faced with a difficult situation, he either walks away or comes and tells her about it. She went on to say that she is very proud of him. It’s so nice to hear when your child is doing good things…rather than just hearing about the bad things. That reminds me of an interesting happening with David last week. Last Monday, Johnathan decided to give the children their gummy bear vitamins. David got two, Emily got two, and Ava got one. It would seem that instead of eating hers immediately, Emily laid her gummies on the table and went to use the bathroom. When she came back into the kitchen, Johnathan heard her crying because someone had eaten her gummy bears. At this point in our phone conversation, time seemed to stop. I just knew the culprit was Ava. I could see having to carry her to the emergency room to have her stomach pumped. But no - David admitted to stealing Emily’s gummy vitamins. Still not great, but at least it was only a double dose for him versus the triple dose it would have been for Ava. The pediatrician and Poison Control assured Johnathan that David would be okay. It seems that the gummies have no iron in them and the next highest toxicity would be Vitamin A. And a child would have to eat pretty much an entire bottle of vitamins to get too much Vitamin A. But on Tuesday, David complained most of the afternoon and evening about his stomach hurting. Then he woke up in the middle of the night and puked all over everything. I mean everything. I’m not sure the vitamins had anything to do with him getting sick, but it definitely helped reinforce the idea that gummy vitamins are not candy.

Emily is continuing to enjoy Pre-K. It’s harder for her to roll out of bed in the morning than it was during those first couple weeks, but she’s still excited about going to school. The kids eat breakfast from 7:30-7:45 and there are mornings when the smell of freshly baked bread hits me full force when I walk in the door. On mornings like that, I miss being little. Maybe it’s because the smell reminds me of being in the lunchroom with my Aunt Jeanette. Something about it represents comfort and happiness and for the briefest of moments, I always wish I could pull up a chair and be one of the kids again. One of Emily’s best friends is the daughter of one of my best friends from second grade. We lost touch with each other after elementary school, so my memories of our friendship are stuck in that time period where we weren’t much older than our kids are now. I sent her a message the other day and said, “When we were friends, did you ever imagine that one day our kids would be playing together?” Of course that was the furthest thing from our minds. The kids are taking a field trip to an apple orchard in a couple weeks, and I’m trying to decide whether or not to tag along. I have three unscheduled vacation days left, and I want to allot one day for each child…whether it’s attending holiday parties, chaperoning field trips, or (in Ava’s case) just chilling out at home.

Ava has at least temporarily exited her “no” phase. It was pretty short-lived, so I’m not entirely trusting that it won’t come back. Now she answers most things with a drawn out “yeeeaaaah” that’s ten times more adorable than “no” ever could be. Maybe she figured that out and is using it against us. Johnathan and Ava surprised me with lunch last Thursday. When the front door of the office opened I didn’t look up, so I had no idea they were here until Ava was standing (grinning) in my cubicle doorway. When I turned around in my chair, she ran over to me, crawled up in my lap, threw her arms around my neck and then didn’t let go. Ava gives great hugs, and I was more than happy to let her just hang out around my neck for a while. I was in a bad mood by the time I got home Friday afternoon, so I spent a little bit of time just sitting on Emily’s bed with my two girls playing around me. There’s something therapeutic about watching children play. Suddenly Ava threw the sheets over her head and announced, “I’m Superman!” I grabbed the camera and started recording. Emily and I were able to get Ava to say the word “Superman”, but we couldn’t get her to say the whole phrase again. When Emily kept pushing the issue, Ava sweetly looked at her and said, “No, honey…” My account just doesn’t do justice to the hilarity of the moment. It was a much-needed mood booster. I will do everything in my power to make sure that particular video is never erased from the memory card.

This weekend was rather busy. Johnathan, Ross, David, and my Dad went to the Braves game on Saturday afternoon. I turned the game on at the top of the 8th inning and stared dumbly at the score. 0-0. I drily thought, “Wow. What an exciting game.” But by the end of the inning, I was biting my nails. A runner on third…two strikes and…hoorah! Chipper Jones hit the ball straight down the center of the field and the Braves won the game 1-0. I was glad David’s first experience was a win (no matter how slight). The girls and I went out for Happy Meals and ice cream and then watched cartoons while we waited for the guys to get home. Later in the evening I watched Golden Girls with Kristin and Hannah and then chatted with Hannah until around midnight. Johnathan and I watched a little bit of Monty Python’s Flying Circus and then called it a night. Sunday was our annual trip to Burt’s Farm. David has been often enough now that he recognized when we were almost there. The older kids know the routine. Walk around, take pictures, pick out pumpkins, and (most importantly) do the hayride. Ava had not been on the hayride since she was two months old and she took in the scene with interest. The weather was unusually cool. Even when we left around 1:00, it was still overcast and in the mid-sixties. I’m always glad when fall arrives, but this year I’m feeling a little blue as well. The approach of cooler weather reminds me that another year is drawing to an end, and once again, I’m slapped with the fact that I’m not where I want to be. I suppose we’re minutely closer to our goal of owning a house, but it’s not enough closer to make me feel heartened. I always expected to be entirely settled by this point in my life. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. The most important thing is the health and happiness of my family, but some days it’s easier to realize that than others.

For the sake of ending on a happier note, I will focus on the fact that I have a homemade pumpkin roll in my fridge. It’s amazing how often I equate food with happiness, but hey… It is what it is. There’s nothing better than a cool evening, a slice of pumpkin roll, and a cup of coffee.